- When's the last time you wined, dined, pampered or romanced yourself?
- When's the last time you recognized your strengths and talents and fought for your dreams?
- When's the last time you honored your boundaries by saying "No."?
- When's the last time you chose authenticity over compromise?
At the very core of being an Indie Girl is self-love because, without it, you end up compromising your values, beliefs, goals, and your dreams. You neglect your physical, mental, emotional and spiritual needs. You settle for a passionless life rather than living a passion-driven one. It doesn't even cross your mind that you have the power to create a dynamic personal legacy. And without self-love, you ignore all the red flags in the beginning of a relationship and choose to endure incompatibility, dishonesty, infidelity, physical and/or emotional abuse, or simply a lack of intimacy; all in the name of "love". You somehow convince yourself that you're happy no matter how much your soul cries out. And then you trudge through life expecting and getting less than what you deserve.
It's amazing how hard it is to have an ongoing love affair with myself; to let my strength of character outshine my fragile ego. But I still go through times when I let other people's love, or lack thereof, determine how I feel about myself. There are still times when I let other people's opinions of me determine my worth. And I still have a tendency to let life circumstances (like heartbreak, job loss, or debt) whittle away at my ego until I feel there's nothing left of me to love. It sometimes feels like I teeter on the edge of self-love and self-loathing because, sadly, self-love isn't my default setting.
But I've definitely learned how to love myself over the years. I have choose to ignore the negative mental chatter and have deep conversations with myself that remind me of who I am, what I want, and what I deserve. I have to celebrate my accomplishments, express gratitude for them, and constantly create new dreams to pursue. I have to make choices that nurture my body, mind and spirit and feed my passions. And I have to prioritize the relationships and experiences that bring me the greatest pleasure.
Self-love is a daily practice that requires commitment. And like any other relationship I have to be fully invested in protecting it and making it work.
Indie Girl Diary: writing prompt
Loving myself requires:
Indie Girl-Talk: let's chat!
How do you keep the passion alive in your relationship with yourself?