It was a matter of days before my EX & I would officially go our separate ways. Andjust when I thought things couldn’t get any worse... just when I thought life had ended... it almost did. After 6 years of living in LA, navigating the most hellacious traffic and exercising extreme patience during gridlock; I was in a car accident. No, not a fender bender. The type of accident where I was doing 360s in moving traffic across the 101 freeway. I couldn’t believe that at 38 years of age, my life was going to end tragically with divorce and a fatal accident. Never in life had I ever felt so completely out of control of my own destiny.But somehow, in a matter of seconds, I made peace with my fate and felt myself surrender to the inevitable outcome as my car whirled feverishly towards the guard rail. To my amazement, the impact wasn’t even enough to create whiplash. Not a cut, not a scratch, not a scrape. I sat in the driver’s seat stunned as sirens and witnesses of the accident approached to see if I was okay. Physically I was okay. Emotionally I was traumatized. Everything in my life felt like it was crashing down on me.
Perhaps my car accident was the Universe’s way of sending me a message: metaphorically. My husband’s sudden admission that he wanted a divorce launched me into a dizzying emotional state. I felt paralyzed and completely out of control of my future. But, I had to accept the present as my reality, make peace with it and surrender to the outcome. And despite my fear of the unknown, I would be okay. The loss of my husband, my best friend, my lover and my sense of “stability” would definitely feel traumatic. And I’d undoubtedly suffer a little shock. But my life would continue. I was strong, resilient and above all... ALIVE. And for that, I should feel grateful.
