So I was making emotional progress. But I wasn't as perfect or well-adjusted as one might think. Let's face it, my EX and I were most definitely soul mates but that didn't necessarily mean we should've jumped the broom. But we did. And we did promise one another the respect of fidelity along with open and honest communication at all times. Nevertheless, he betrayed me with a drunken one-night-stand and kept it a secret.
But, I needed something in the here and now to liberate me from the pain of rejection and low self-esteem which is the unfortunate inevitability when your husband replaces you in bed with some other chick (or, chicks) and decides he’s satisfied living the rest of his life without you. The whole self-hatred thing is just part of the adultery/divorce package. I needed another escape. Something other than my new affinity for red wine.
All that self-help woo-ha couldn’t have prepared me for the next whammy. If anything, it just thickened my rose colored glasses which, when finally shattered, led to corneal lacerations that would render me blind to hope and love for the next couple of years. It all started with me chit-chattin’ on the phone with a mutual friend of mine and my EX.
As my gut churned, I could see the tears welling up in her eyes and I knew I was destined for a doosey. My mind was spinning with worst case scenarios about what could be going on in her life, hoping that reality would soften the blow of my imagination. My thoughts were interrupted with my BFF saying, “It’s really hard for me to tell you this because I love you so much...” Wait, this wasn’t about her? It’s about ME? I can’t handle any more bad news!
