All that self-help woo-ha couldn’t have prepared me for the next whammy. If anything, it just thickened my rose colored glasses which, when finally shattered, led to corneal lacerations that would render me blind to hope and love for the next couple of years. It all started with me chit-chattin’ on the phone with a mutual friend of mine and my EX.
So that was that. It was over. A done deal. My EX left the next morning, marking the end of an eight year chapter of my life entitled “Love & Marriage”. There was no getting around the fact that I had officially been abandoned by my husband, best friend and lover; only to fend for myself as a 38 year old single mom with the emotional fortitude of a 2 year old.
I couldn’t mimic my EX’s cheerful tone and he instantly inferred my “let’s just cut-to-the-chase” kinda mood. Eschewing any phoniness I continued in my distant, matter-of-fact voice. “So, I’m calling because I just heard that you cheated on me on New Year’s Eve. Is that true?” SILENCE. “Well, I guess I’ll take your silence as my answer.” More uncomfortable silence. Uncomfortable for him. In that moment, I oddly felt in control. I felt like I had built up the emotional armor to protect myself from anything else the Universe decided to hurl in my direction.
As my gut churned, I could see the tears welling up in her eyes and I knew I was destined for a doosey. My mind was spinning with worst case scenarios about what could be going on in her life, hoping that reality would soften the blow of my imagination. My thoughts were interrupted with my BFF saying, “It’s really hard for me to tell you this because I love you so much...” Wait, this wasn’t about her? It’s about ME? I can’t handle any more bad news!
