Turn-Ons: My nail technician was fabulously sweet, attentive and thorough.
Turn-Offs: I left Avanti Nails & Spa loving my fabulous purple tips until just 2 days later when it looked like I'd started some DIY home-improvement project!
Rate My Date:
- Not My Type
1 Night Stand
- Crush
- In Love
- Happily Ever After
In a shamefully libidinous call for attention, I chose whorish purple as the color of choice for my mani-pedi at Avanti Nails & Spa. Unfortunately, just two days later, the deep purple proceeded to peel, reducing my allure to cheap slut. Why is it that no matter how hard I try, I look like a hot mess? At least the pampering experience was semi-relaxing. I say “semi” because, after sinking my tired and achy body into the sumptuous massage chair and submerging my feet into the tub of sudsy warm water, I was gutted to discover that the massage mechanism was irrevocably stuck on an irritatingly low vibration setting. My pocket-sized vibrator buzzes with more confidence! And I was so looking forward to being groped and kneaded into ecstatic bliss. At least my nail technician was friendly and the tabloid magazines were current. As she diligently washed, scrubbed, massaged, moisturized, sculpted and painted my toes, I analyzed, scrutinized and criticized every Hollywood celebutante to the point of elevated self-esteem; even if I have to resort to the color purple to hopefully get laid.
We made light chit-chat while she repeated a similar process on my hands. And then came the boring and seemingly endless minutes of stillness when my hands and feet were submitted to the dryers for two cycles. Yes, two! Heaven forbid I compromise that important process and mess up my $41 mani-pedi (before tip). I didn't have the freedom to flip through magazines, peruse facebook or scroll through my Blackberry messages. I was left alone in my randy thoughts.
I tipped her generously (the malfunctioning massage chair wasn't her fault, after all) and paraded myself around the city hoping to make a bold statement: "WILLING & AVAILABLE". Until two days later. Mani-Pedi FAIL!
Avanti Nails & Spa
888 8th Avenue between52nd & 53rd Streets
Getting There By Subway
- 1 to 50th Street at Broadway
- C, E to 50th Street at 8th Avenue
