When you fall off the wagon, you usually fall pretty damn hard and into a downward spiral of self-destructive behavior with no desire for help or change and absolutely no reason for hope. Your mind becomes resolute with the idea of failure; not just in love, but in life in general.
My 44th birthday seems to be approaching with unrelenting speed. And while I don't think I'm suffering from mid-life crisis, perse, I'm definitely suffering from mid-life hyper-awareness with a side of singleitis. Because nothing in my life right now is the way I thought it would be at this age.
